All my life I have been told what to do. What to study, what to say, what to do for a profession, who to love, who to give my body to, and so on. I agreed upon all these without thinking twice about it. I took the easy way. I decided in each of those scenarios that occurred no more than 5 seconds that I would do as I was told. Because then I would not have to think for myself nor conflict with whomever told me to do so. I was obedient and as a result without a backbone. I thought that if I could accomplish each of these feat for this person then they would be pleased with me and I would have an enviable life as my reward. Boy, was I brought down to my knees. That may have been the case on the surface, but internally I was poisoning myself. To the point that it would take me over a decade to realize that after I had gone through several hell like pits, it was breaking me down.
I know this flaw is within me. I listen to others who seem to be older and wiser. I am met with an onslaught of information daily through my phone, youtube, emails, coworkers, and just about everywhere I turn there is someone trying to tell me or you exactly what to do and how to think. Well, I am done with that. All it has led me to is years of regret and sorrow. On the flip side I do believe to be free you must have been enslaved. To know peace, you must have known great sorrow. To have strength, you must have been weak and feeble. To stand at your core, you must have been broken into a thousand pieces.
Sit alone by yourself. Gather as much information from the best of sources and decide for yourself on what it is you need to do. Take action for yourself. Sit alone.