So there are different competitions in life. In elementary there is the competition to gain the teacher’s attention and approval. Although this is is silly to think of now it is what we did and were envious of those received it. All the following below are different competition scenarios we feel pressured to compete in. It is hard not to feel this way when surrounded by so many to compare yourself to. It is our way to gauge how well we are doing because life does not give an A or a C minus. We have to give ourselves the grade in real life.
Who has been accepted to the better college, the better boyfriend who is more good-looking or rich, the better grades- who makes the dean’s list, the better face or body-who gets the most attention from boys, the better job-who’s education paid off well or not, the better family-who is still married with happy children, the better kids- who’s kids are conventionally more successful or on their way to success, the better friends-who has the friends that are giving and love to spoil you, the better job-who has the better title. The list goes on and on.
So lets cut to the chase. Everyone here feels this pressure of comparison and competition. More so here in the states, in 1st world countries than other countries who think of basic needs and survival needs. We have an abundant amount of time due to all the luxuries we have. We don’t have to cook when we can go get take-out. We don’t have to study alone when we can hire an online tutor. We don’t have to filter our water when it comes from the city. We don’t have visit to see friends when we know what they are doing by their social media accounts. “Carol! Why do you have such a perfect life! Ughh! Ok, I’ll keep scrolling and looking each day and feel the same way, terrible and pathetic during and afterwards.” And so we do this for a half-hour each day x5 years that is 38 days we have just spent making ourselves feel terrible. Remember that when you are scrolling and looking at the lives of your social media acquaintances.
Let us take this into perspective. You and everyone here has it better than atleast 90% of the world population. If you feel the need for more because you don’t have enough it is because you live in a bubble. A very insecure and sheltered bubble. Look outside of your self and you will see you have it all being born here or a citizen here in America.
If you run the same race as everyone else you will get the same outcome as everyone else. So when you are racing to have the nice party as everyone else realize the outcome will be the same. Then think about if that is the outcome you are wanting.
Of course, whenever you steer away from what everyone else is doing you will get sneers, the jokes, the side comments. These are all noise to get you off course and back into the herd. These sneers are the insecurities people have inside of themselves that are coming out onto you. “Who does this person think they are to go and be themselves?! How dare they try to not be like us and be well!” It is a seed of anger and jealousy. Recognize this seed of anger and jealousy and nip it quickly! Allow other seeds to sprout. First step is to identify it for what it is and then you can figure out a plan to nip it and keep it there as a seed.