What else?
I have become restless with my life. The everyday tasks and annoyances. The same routine each day. I wake up. Eat a large breakfast then feed my son. Then we go somewhere to a park, library, grocery store. We will go out for 2-3 hours. Then come back eat more food and then we are both very tired so we each take a nap until 6/6:30pm. Wake up and make dinner after cleaning the dishes and kitchen. Eat dinner then clean up. Then find something to do at home to pass the time. Night falls early so by 7pm it is dark.
This is my life for the past 33 years minus the child of course. I used to go a bit crazy at home not having much to do or a goal in mind until I started working. Work distracted me. Kept me busy from my own imagination. Now I guess life has become predictable and there isn’t too much to worry so now I have not much to think of except the daily drum of my life. I remember a certain person looked down on me for living with my parents still in the same room I grew up in as a child to an adult of 30 years. It was hurtful. But were they correct? Or on to something. Is it sad that I am still, at that time, still in the same childhood room I grew up in? As if I had not grown. As if I had gone out on a long travel for many years only to come back to the same home. Like when a soldier of some kind goes off to a foreign field then comes back. Did I change? Did I do anything of worth? I started here and ended here. Isn’t this how life is? You go on a long journey then you make it back home. Home is where the heart is. Warm, safe, familiar. Am I to end up somewhere beautiful? Somewhere where the people are beautiful to match the scenery. I think most 99% of people end up right back where they began. To find that beauty wherever they are or end up. Or go on searching until you can land in that beautiful landscape and be happy to start a new life with family there. Do we have that luxury and will I actually love it there without friends or family of the past to comfort me. How will I make money to support living there. Ahh. That opportunity is for the super rich or the super single.
Ahh(sipping tea). What else? What next?